GEt Well . . . Slowly

Forty years into treating patients in psychotherapy, and I’m still struck by how people want to get well—quickly. Health-minded folks hear the siren call to run to the next “healthy fix.” Going from one health fad to the next inevitably leaves you high on what’s new then ground down by disappointment. Yet another get-well-quick promise dashes you against the rocks.

The inner draw to be well is natural. It’s enchanting, ever-present, and elusive. As one person it, “There’ always been something in me saying I could make it. At some point, I’d find what I’ve been looking for. I’d be well. But, I never reached it.” After time spent soul work, they said, “It’s strange, I’ve found well being but it’s different than I thought—it’s there but always changing, shifting. Always more to grow into.”

So often, I run across those who, as I say, mainline bliss. It’s spiritual bypassing. These folks get a temporary bliss fix. It’s trying to obtain goodness without doing the work. They get blissed out, high on meditation, religion, yoga, and mind-altering substances. These may have a place when appropriately used. At least for a while, they may provide relief from stress and induce calmness. However, there is the inevitable let-down. Turning outside for what can be found only inside leaves us in a spiritual nowhere land.

Sensing the desire for good feelings is a good thing! Now, there’s work to do. Good feelings call to us, then we need to do the work. There are lifestyle issues, emotional and spiritual issues, and relationship issues to sort through. Getting well doesn’t happen without doing work. Facing what we need to face, to stop going so fast and turn within, to slowly do inner work opens us to growth! Paraphrasing my patient, well being is there for you. But it’s different than you thought. And there’s always more to grow into.